One has to applaud the notion that inspired twist off beer caps. It eliminates the use of bottle openers (even if it puts billions of bottle opener manufacturers out of business) and enables the consumer to get the beer into the system that much sooner. Such a need is important when returning home from a hard days labour. Or, indeed, when stress has reached such epic proportions that alcohol is the only escape potent enough to establish relief from the said nightmares.
However, I must ask why it is little spikes have to be placed around the edge of said caps? I understand a need for traction is required when opening a sealed bottle, but spikes?
Also why do Canadians feel the need to laugh every time I use a cloth to open a bottle? I see the scars between their index finger and thumb; the little tears of pain in the corner of their eye. I know that they hate this torture as much as me; so why do we let them make us suffer so?
Is it a rite of passage that just keeps on giving? Must we, forever, open bottles this way to prove something to our, eager to suffer, sons and daughters?
I say The Time Has Come for us, less masochistic men, to rise up and demand jam jar lids for our beer. Join us in the new world order of men that have not and will not cave to the Macho Moron Mentality! And then we can eat cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and crotchet to our hearts content… enough is enough brothers (and sisters!) Join us! Rise -up or forever wear the tell tale and emasculating band-aid of shame at the crotch of your thumb and finger.