Having visited the crapper three times today this article may appear to have been scrawled by a light headed sadist seeking revenge. Not so, I do however, crave your indulgence should I display uncharacteristic feeble mindedness this long weekend equipped morn.
I found myself wishing I could be a Puck like creature this past week. My sole purpose would be to scare the living shit (as opposed to dead shit) out of peeps. Not just any peeps; just those enormous slathering genitalia and a need to share this knowledge with an adoring world via driving fast in icy snowy conditions as the “only” person on the road.
Not satisfied with causing other drivers to compensate for their selfishness these “Morons Extreme” also love to spray already wet peds with their passing wake. They should be made to suffer in some small but debilitating way. I have a plan.
As the Puck I would simply leap onto the hood of their speeding vehicle contort my face into a hideous grimace and roar obscenely and foully with heaping bags of expletives and gestures. The result. a subliminal and mysteriously controlled crash would cause harm only to them whilst sending notice of a $5,000 fine to their domicile. An additional six month leave of absence will be imposed…without pay. I would slap a supernatural ticket to their windshield and every time their motoring habits disregarded others on the road the roaring puck would slowly re-coalesce on their windshield adding dollar upon dollar to their ever increasing fine. Or they could just be dangled by their scrotum from the Peace Tower…your call.