Lemming like the fabled Ottawan driver hurtles along snow covered roads as if caution were designed for sissies. Lets not care that it is no longer as easy to stop as it was in the summer and forget the fact that visibility is impaired. While we are in the mood lets drive as close to the curb as possible and drench peds as we speed by.
I don’t know if it is this city alone or just people everywhere but damn it they are freakin’ stupid in Ottawa! Naught will fell this charioteer’s quest to beat a red light, defy a puddle or dare a yield sign to mean something.
Today I watched as people speed to make a light only to slam on their brakes at the last minute. I try to have pity on them as they slide into the intersections their faces creased in sudden panic as mortality looms into view. Then I think WTF your a dick.
I have watched people ride another’s bumper then blare on their horn to make the other driver move faster. There are those that will not let you merge regardless of etiquette lets crowd out every driver so we can bully our way into the Highway book of the damned. No quarter to be given, this is a battlefield and may the best moron win.
To take a positive spin on this Ottawan’s are risk takers? performers of derring do? Devil-may-care adventurers? Modern Day Swashbucklers?
Most people encountering a red light feel an irresistible urge to stop; Ottawan’s see 3 more seconds to zip through before the on coming traffic surges into their right of way. Yellow Light. . .same thing.
Green light? Green light? Green light? In all things green means go…you are clear; nothing will stop you! The way to Nirvana is open to you GO! No, not in Ottawa; here in the Derring Do capital of the world green means hesitate pause, time to masturbate, then Go as cautiously as you can. . .Christmas might on the horizon!
Never do Ottawan’s go on green light. Suddenly Mr. Pedestrian Bane is Into Extreme Highway Coding with a heavy dose of total timidity. Makes you want to scream and vote tory. . .well maybe its not that bad.