Grandmother
Cliches & maxims are, I suppose, designed to put angst into perspective? Weak attempts, perhaps, to make the listener feel better or point out the error of their ways? A spot of wisdom to help change the lighting? As a kid though I found my grandmother’s endless trove of such pearls annoying and indefensibly oblique.
As an adult I am discovering a new source of humour to lighten the load. Captured here are a few of the choicest of Grandma’s greatness.
“It’s a dead chicken that lays no eggs.” Isn’t this great utterly pointless and as insufferable to me back then as the next gem
“It’s an I’ll wind that blows no good.” Yes it is.
In response to the childish whine of “Thats not fair” Nan would respond with “Nor are the hairs on a black man’s chest.” Wow that just puts it all into perspective.
It’s not the gay coat makes the gentleman.
Put not faith in tale-bearers.
“Leave your dick alone this isn’t Saint Taggert’s day.”
Whatever you were doing that was wrong was always because you had got your dates wrong i.e. there was a time when fiddling with your dick was acceptable. . .Saint Taggert’s Day as it was for all other misdemeanors. Obviously then, out in public with Grandma was never that day.
Watch this space for more pearls during the coming aeons.