I think the most thankless and pointless task in all of world is the raking of leaves on a windy day .
I watched one such practitioner of said noble and, sadly, forgotten art this very morning.
Laboriously she raked, scraped and herded demonically mischievous little leaves to a safe corner only to have them all blow away as she wrangled a paper bag open. A bag that once it was open proceeded to balloon and attempt to carry off our ill charmed hero.
A whimsy of a thought rushed through my head as I witnessed this near calamity. Perhaps the bag was attempting to save this poor wretch from compounding her folly any further. Attempting, one could muse, to carry her off to a leafless world?
To say that I deliberately went outside with my leaf blower/sucker would be a cruel besmirchment of my well known good neighborliness. A slight I am willing to throw down the gauntlet for; should you refuse to take back that thought.
I did the only gentlemanly thing possible. I waited until she went inside sobbing. Then, taking center stage on my own lawn, thrummed the blower/sucker into ravenous; monstrous life. Together the beast and I swept everything clean in twenty minutes to retire to tea and crumpets b the fire together.
Even with such technology at my fingertips I still resent sodding around with feckless leaves. Better to wait until there are no more of the little buggars left on the trees then get the neighbours kid to rake them all up for one princely fee. I only have one life I dont want to spend it fucking with leaves.