Having visited the crapper three times today this article may appear to have been scrawled by a light headed sadist seeking revenge. Not so, I do however, crave your indulgence should I display uncharacteristic feeble mindedness this long weekend equipped morn.

I found myself wishing I could be a Puck like creature this past week. My sole purpose would be to scare the living shit (as opposed to dead shit) out of peeps. Not just any peeps; just those enormous slathering genitalia and a need to share this knowledge with an adoring world via driving fast in icy snowy conditions as the “only” person on the road.

Not satisfied with causing other drivers to compensate for their selfishness these “Morons Extreme” also love to spray already wet peds with their passing wake. They should be made to suffer in some small but debilitating way. I have a plan.

As the Puck I would simply leap onto the hood of their speeding vehicle contort my face into a hideous grimace and roar obscenely and foully with heaping bags of expletives and gestures. The result. a subliminal and mysteriously controlled crash would cause harm only to them whilst sending notice of a $5,000 fine to their domicile. An additional six month leave of absence will be imposed…without pay. I would slap a supernatural ticket to their windshield and every time their motoring habits disregarded others on the road the roaring puck would slowly re-coalesce on their windshield adding dollar upon dollar to their ever increasing fine. Or they could just be dangled by their scrotum from the Peace Tower…your call.

Is there anyone out there? Are we alone did we ever have friends or was it all a dream. How did all the flower children and herds of baby-boomers all suddenly become the alt -right then left us out to dry? I say again is there anyone out there? Are we all alone?

I want you to imagine that you live on an island that is lush with every kind of flora and fauna known to human kind, it is paradise.

You know for a fact, from years of study, that in the next hundred or so years your island will sink into the sea and your civilization will be lost forever, your descendants will drown.

So far your technology allows you to sail around the coast but no more than that. You believe that beyond the horizons there are other lands. Legends and observations of the natural world all lead you to believe that you are not alone on this world.

Your choice is quite simple. Spur your people into action and rip your paradise apart to create the right technology to transport your people across the ocean to a new home. No matter the cost to your existing paradise, you must survive. Or you and your people were not meant to live beyond the life of your island or its built in fate. It would be a crime to totally denude your home of habitability and strike out for a new existence.

Before you decide ask your self: Do you have any duty toward your descendants? What you do now directly affects their lives. Or is your primary duty to the world you live in now a place that you must protect as it once (in your imagination) protected you?

For me the answer requires no debate. Since Humanity began its quest it has used and bent its world to make life easier for itself. Had it not done so then our history would have been reduced to a half-hour episode entitled “The Ape that might have, but did not” Therefore I would not hesitate to strip the island of everything it had to offer and strike out for the New World.

What is the point of these ponderings of toothpaste and deodorant user?

One day our sun burn itself out and collapse thus destroying our world, our island in space. Does the same principal of the sinking island apply here? Should humanity strive to launch itself into space to begin an inexorable spread throughout the galaxy?

You might think that we have already begun our expansion as Voyager’s 1 and 2 slip, quietly, into regions no one has ventured into before? The Hubble telescope is, as we speak, peeping into some untold depths of space and already we have landed on the Moon and Mars. This is true but how much further would we be if we devoted all our energies to this adventure instead of war, stupidity and. . .conservation and the invention of the bigger better hamburger?

Our world is a beautiful place full of marvels we do not entirely comprehend. But, it is an island and an island with an end. That end may be millions of years away, a time frame that need not yet panic us, yet procrastination is the bane of success. Our endless wars and love of pollution may destroy us before the sun does our efforts to escape too little too late.

Is it too early for us to be concerned with what happens to our descendants? Do we require a longer incubation period before we re-discover another and another paradise?

Have I been born too soon and allowing my dreams and wishes of space exploration to colour my judgment? Or has Humanities stupidity gone on long enough; is it time we started behaving like responsible Apes and fill ourselves with all the wonders that are out there waiting for us? Space may not be the final frontier but, by all the gods we ever dreamed of or are yet to scoff at, it is the most fabulous adventure imaginable. Isn’t it ? Wanna come with?

Traditions are just habits, laws are frames we thought might have been good ideas back then…neither of them are sacrosanct and are always subject to change should new ideas present themselves adequately.

Just another philosophy brought to you by the inadequately presented Wicks.