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Bag-O-wicks

Bag-O-wicks

No one can hear you screaming from a bag

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Regardless of the Cost.

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Jun 5

Everyone knows the stupidity of Trump, Hitler, Stalin, Brexit, Franco and all far right jingoists. You don’t need me to explain it but you do need to stop and think before opening your mouth. Think inwardly, critically; do the right thing always, regardless of the cost.

Puck

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Feb 20

Having visited the crapper three times today this article may appear to have been scrawled by a light headed sadist seeking revenge. Not so, I do however, crave your indulgence should I display uncharacteristic feeble mindedness this long weekend equipped morn.

I found myself wishing I could be a Puck like creature this past week. My sole purpose would be to scare the living shit (as opposed to dead shit) out of peeps. Not just any peeps; just those enormous slathering genitalia and a need to share this knowledge with an adoring world via driving fast in icy snowy conditions as the “only” person on the road.

Not satisfied with causing other drivers to compensate for their selfishness these “Morons Extreme” also love to spray already wet peds with their passing wake. They should be made to suffer in some small but debilitating way. I have a plan.

As the Puck I would simply leap onto the hood of their speeding vehicle contort my face into a hideous grimace and roar obscenely and foully with heaping bags of expletives and gestures. The result. a subliminal and mysteriously controlled crash would cause harm only to them whilst sending notice of a $5,000 fine to their domicile. An additional six month leave of absence will be imposed…without pay. I would slap a supernatural ticket to their windshield and every time their motoring habits disregarded others on the road the roaring puck would slowly re-coalesce on their windshield adding dollar upon dollar to their ever increasing fine. Or they could just be dangled by their scrotum from the Peace Tower…your call.

Is there anyone?

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Feb 11

Is there anyone out there? Are we alone did we ever have friends or was it all a dream. How did all the flower children and herds of baby-boomers all suddenly become the alt -right then left us out to dry? I say again is there anyone out there? Are we all alone?

This Island set in a Silver sea.

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Feb 6

I want you to imagine that you live on an island that is lush with every kind of flora and fauna known to human kind, it is paradise.

You know for a fact, from years of study, that in the next hundred or so years your island will sink into the sea and your civilization will be lost forever, your descendants will drown.

So far your technology allows you to sail around the coast but no more than that. You believe that beyond the horizons there are other lands. Legends and observations of the natural world all lead you to believe that you are not alone on this world.

Your choice is quite simple. Spur your people into action and rip your paradise apart to create the right technology to transport your people across the ocean to a new home. No matter the cost to your existing paradise, you must survive. Or you and your people were not meant to live beyond the life of your island or its built in fate. It would be a crime to totally denude your home of habitability and strike out for a new existence.

Before you decide ask your self: Do you have any duty toward your descendants? What you do now directly affects their lives. Or is your primary duty to the world you live in now a place that you must protect as it once (in your imagination) protected you?

For me the answer requires no debate. Since Humanity began its quest it has used and bent its world to make life easier for itself. Had it not done so then our history would have been reduced to a half-hour episode entitled “The Ape that might have, but did not” Therefore I would not hesitate to strip the island of everything it had to offer and strike out for the New World.

What is the point of these ponderings of toothpaste and deodorant user?

One day our sun burn itself out and collapse thus destroying our world, our island in space. Does the same principal of the sinking island apply here? Should humanity strive to launch itself into space to begin an inexorable spread throughout the galaxy?

You might think that we have already begun our expansion as Voyager’s 1 and 2 slip, quietly, into regions no one has ventured into before? The Hubble telescope is, as we speak, peeping into some untold depths of space and already we have landed on the Moon and Mars. This is true but how much further would we be if we devoted all our energies to this adventure instead of war, stupidity and. . .conservation and the invention of the bigger better hamburger?

Our world is a beautiful place full of marvels we do not entirely comprehend. But, it is an island and an island with an end. That end may be millions of years away, a time frame that need not yet panic us, yet procrastination is the bane of success. Our endless wars and love of pollution may destroy us before the sun does our efforts to escape too little too late.

Is it too early for us to be concerned with what happens to our descendants? Do we require a longer incubation period before we re-discover another and another paradise?

Have I been born too soon and allowing my dreams and wishes of space exploration to colour my judgment? Or has Humanities stupidity gone on long enough; is it time we started behaving like responsible Apes and fill ourselves with all the wonders that are out there waiting for us? Space may not be the final frontier but, by all the gods we ever dreamed of or are yet to scoff at, it is the most fabulous adventure imaginable. Isn’t it ? Wanna come with?

Tradition.

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Jan 2

Traditions are just habits, laws are frames we thought might have been good ideas back then…neither of them are sacrosanct and are always subject to change should new ideas present themselves adequately.

Just another philosophy brought to you by the inadequately presented Wicks.

2016

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Dec 31

It is New Years eve again we, soon, will all Auld lang syne it and herald the new year like its gonna save us from the horrors of the old year. True 16 has sucked the big one; almost since day one; then we have ended up with a wanker for president. However, and I am genuine in this, there have been some good moments tear jerking happy gems that make me weep into my wheaties daily. For those moments around family and friends  I am soppily grateful; I cushion you all from a pitiless years past and to come.
He paused and cast a pensive eye toward his imagined audience; a single tear trekked arduously down his cheek. That said and meant 2016 can Bugger Off! bring on the next nightmare and lets get pissed! HAPPY NEW YEAR to one and all! well not the orange one that cannot be named.

The Embarrassment

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Nov 16

Imagine the shame and embarrassment if when cleansing the nether regions the foreskin were to unexpectedly snap shut thus trapping a digit or two. How would this be explained?

We Outnumber Them?

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Nov 13

Needless to say I have been listening to the various peeps that claim  to know it all and they are all saying the same thing. Politicians have, for too long, ignored the working classes and the rural voters. Both have been losing ground since the Reagan and Thatcher years and it is one of the major reasons Trump trumped reason and became King of America. A few months ago as Trudeau sailed into town in a golden ship of tomorrowness I might have disagreed . I certainly would not have cared about rural voters I considered them to be whiners clinging to a distant past that no one cares about any more. Not so anymore. I have read so much stuff listened to armchair as well as real philosophers and I can only conclude that, especially in America, those that would pretend to lead scooch their rears onto the thrones of democracies around the world and have done just that; ignored and disenfranchised us all.

The stupid thing is; no the fucking stupid thing is, we have known this for centuries and despite assorted rebellions and flirtations with progressive socialism we have let them get away with it.

Living with the likes of Trump should have been a thing of the past. We should have been able to say that not since WW1 have we seen the likes of this madman. Yet here we are again just waiting for the shit to flow. The swing to right wing radicalism is a knee jerk reaction by truly stupid people not capable of thinking, fact finding for themselves, so much easier to follow the liar with the biggest mouth.

We need a 180 degree attitude swing but I think you are all too afraid; too afraid to try reason, too lazy to make a difference and even worse so very unaware.

What ever our shade we outnumber the wankers on top of the heap waving their dicks at us. So why doesn’t the  ballot box reflect that?

Well just another four years to figure it out.

Whatever?

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Jul 12

Woke up this morning wasn’t who I should have been. Went back to bed and dreamed a while; still not sure if I am who I say I am; the tide has turned, not positive there is any time left?

Everything ends so fast,

I will have to read the notice boards at last…

might find out the things I missed.

What Can I Do To Help…

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment Jun 6

It is tiring to listen to the prating of middle aged and old men fretting over the decline of their assorted nation states. Wether that decline is through the attrition of immigration, eroded sovereignty, leftism or the soaring costs of masturbation. It is all fantasy with no basis in reality. These mindless wankers see a changing world that has a few differences from when they were boys and suddenly “The fucking sky is falling!”

Since humanity first fell out of the tree and thought “Hey, its not so bad down here” it has wandered over to the next hill and ,true, in some cases, fought with the tossers there. In other cases stopped had affairs made babies moved on or hung out with their new families. It is the very essence of how we survive as a species, grow, intermingle, develop and evolve, its fucking marvelously simple. Whether you want to believe it or not it is still happening, change is the bread and butter of our survival.

As for sovereignty who gives a damn? Tradition is not law it is just habit and very often a bad habit. Read the histories of just the last five hundred years and see how bloody the world was as each cringing coward hid behind borders and sovereignty. How much more can we achieve if arm in arm we hang out with the French, The Dutch the Cambodians the Chinese and the Americans?

Open floodgates are scary for those not prepared to let levels find themselves. Yes I know that change can seem chaotic especially when your cheeseburger joint is replaced by an Indian restaurant but lets face it curry is fantastic.

Now to be all hippy, which I never really was, we all came from that small African family just a few weeks back now, we are all brothers and sisters, in-laws and cousins; what can I do to help you cousin…and what can you do to help me.

Curds or Cheddar?

By Kevin Wicks Leave a Comment May 21

Who really cares about the recent “elbowgate” in parliament? It is a storm in a teacup that should be ignored. Sure its conduct unbecoming for which we have received an apology.However, t as a wiseman I know said elbowing in Hokey is a two minute penalty not a week long diatribe by every internet troll and worthless newspaper this country can dredge up. MP’s across the world in assorted parliaments have done the same and worse. Hesaltine in the UK parliament back in the 70’s for example: enraged by the socialist opposition he leapt from his seat grabbed started the Mace and began wielding it like some kind of Neanderthal club; this to name but one such incident. The Turkish parliament frequently erupts into mass brawls and so on. Get over it there are more important fish to fry. You have your chink in Trudeau’s armor dont wank it till it bleeds save it for the next election. . .which I am sure the attack ads are already on the storyboards. Grow up it was funny at the time but lets move on. We still have not decided if Poutine should be served with curds or cheddar yet…cheddar!

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