This is what he wrote in 2003:
Is it true what people are saying?
Is it so that Tim Horton’s coffee is no longer the nectar of supreme beings?
Steps back and gasps! Covers his mouth in shock.
Say it is not so!
No! I will not hear another word on the matter the golden arches are not taking over! NEVER! He sobbed.
Then in 2013 he wrote:
As a fabricated Canadian I carved onto the Canada Russia Hockey puck these words of Mordor. I officially denounce thee Timmies Coffee! You be the worst coffee of all drive throughs.
All hail the regular brew of Arches Golden!
The lego blocks of Caffeinic imperialism tumbled neath the snows of perpetual winter. A terrible quaking reverberated through the psyche Canadian. I supped then upon the murky gloom of a large piping hot double sugar no milk an unusual smile filtering betwixt the gleam of snarling teeth.